MANAGEMENT is efficiency in climbing the ladder of success; LEADERSHIP determines whether the ladder is leaning against the right wall - Stephen Covey

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Management lingo for the millenium!

I recently read this at a website and therefore wanted to share it with the ROW (Rest of the World)...
BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
CHAINSAW CONSULTANT: An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.
CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.
TOURISTS: People who take training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs. "We had three serious workers in the office; the rest were just tourists."
XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the heck out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
FLIGHT RISK: Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave a company or department soon.
UNINSTALLED: Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voicemail of a vice president at a downsizing computer firm: "You have reached the number of an Uninstalled Vice President. Please dial our main number and ask the operator for assistance. *(Syn: decruitment)
CLM (Career Limiting Move): Used among micro serfs to describe ill-advised activity for eg: trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.
Well, the above may be put to practice at your own risk!


Blogger J.KANNAN said...

The only way to avoid a BLAMESTORMING SESSION at the end of a project/deadline is to hold an effective BRAINSTORMING SESSION
in the begining of project/setting deadline.

6:51 PM


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