MANAGEMENT is efficiency in climbing the ladder of success; LEADERSHIP determines whether the ladder is leaning against the right wall - Stephen Covey

Friday, October 28, 2005

Best of Dilbert!

Change is good. You go first.

Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.

Feedback is a business term which refers to the joy of criticizing other people's work. This is one of the few genuine pleasures of the job, and you should milk it for all it's worth.

Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company.

If you give a man a fish he will eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish he will buy an ugly hat. And if you talk about fish to a starving man then you are a consultant.

If you spend all of your time arguing with people who are nuts, you'll be exhausted and the nuts will still be nuts.

Managers are like cats in a litter box. They instinctively shuffle things around to conceal what they've done.

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level.

One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to be dead.

People who work in accounting departments often work 12 hour days creating reports that nobody cares about. This gives them a very bad attitude. Do not attempt humor around them.

Stupidity is like nuclear power; it can be used for good or evil.

The best things in life are silly.

There are two essential rules to management. One, the customer is always right; and two, they must be punished for their arrogance.

We're a planet of nearly six billion ninnies living in a civilization that was designed by a few thousand amazingly smart deviants.

Your brain is like your stomach in the sense that if it's empty, you're willing to put anything in there to fill it up.

Work is for losers. A winner says 'That's on my list' and never commits to a deadline.

You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.


Blogger Annie said...

These quotes are wickedly funny Sriram :-)

Oscar Wilde was a master of quotation:

"Experience is the name we all give to our mistakes"

"The old believe everything; the middle-aged suspect everything; the young know everything"

"Every great man nowadays has his disciples, but it is always Judas who writes the biography"

"I like talking to a brick wall, I find it is the only thing that never contradicts me"

Etc. etc. Check out some quotes on

6:41 AM

Blogger Annie said...

Dilbert is a good old fashioned cynic - nothing wrong with that as long as we don't surround ourselves with nothing but cynics and I like the following;

'Accountants know the cost of everything but the value of nothing' - and yes ... some of my best friends are accountants Sriram :-)

'Strategies are ok'd in boardrooms that even a child would know are doomed to fail - the problem is there is never a child in the boardroom'

8:06 AM

Blogger Annie said...

The above posting was from Trevor - he wrote it from my user name. The one about Oscar Wilde was from me. Have a good day :-)

4:41 PM

Blogger Sriram said...


Yes, indeed these quotes are wickedly funny....typical Dilbert ones...and i love ur quotes too...Thanx for the link...will go thro em'

Also, the quote abt accountants is so true....i almost fell off my chair laughin!

11:48 AM


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