Best of Dilbert!

Change is good. You go first.

Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.

Feedback is a business term which refers to the joy of criticizing other people's work. This is one of the few genuine pleasures of the job, and you should milk it for all it's worth.

Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company.

If you give a man a fish he will eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish he will buy an ugly hat. And if you talk about fish to a starving man then you are a consultant.

If you spend all of your time arguing with people who are nuts, you'll be exhausted and the nuts will still be nuts.

Managers are like cats in a litter box. They instinctively shuffle things around to conceal what they've done.

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level.

One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to be dead.

People who work in accounting departments often work 12 hour days creating reports that nobody cares about. This gives them a very bad attitude. Do not attempt humor around them.

Stupidity is like nuclear power; it can be used for good or evil.

The best things in life are silly.

There are two essential rules to management. One, the customer is always right; and two, they must be punished for their arrogance.

We're a planet of nearly six billion ninnies living in a civilization that was designed by a few thousand amazingly smart deviants.

Your brain is like your stomach in the sense that if it's empty, you're willing to put anything in there to fill it up.

Work is for losers. A winner says 'That's on my list' and never commits to a deadline.

You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.